a crazy update

The last entry I wrote to you all about my life I was still in Oregon and moving back to Nebraska. Well I am back in Nebraska and am living in an older house with Debbie, her sister, her sisters youngest daughter and Danny. The move back to Nebraska was a head ache and not at all fun. Debbie trashed the car on our way home and had to take a plane home. I stayed with Danny and Joey who were driving the moving trip to make a long story short. I saw my Dad and brother again the day before Christmas and went thrift store shopping with my step mom Pam as well. I got a ton of neat stuff for Christmas and bought my Dad a book about George W. Bush for X-mas. It was a bittersweet Christmas because Don was not with us this year on Christmas. Debbie is still very sick and very depressed. I have been trying to help her the best I can but it is very hard at times. This year has already brought heart aches and pain but I am back on bio-feedback and I will get my GED no matter what!
Love
Libby

Sunday Night Bash

Today was not as bad I guess. I mean Debbie was a bit grumpy but we didn't have to work so super hard. In fact we didn't have to work at all expect I made dinner. I am working on my homemaking skills. I am trying to start out with simple meals like Mac and Cheese, Hamburger Helper and Sloppy Joe's. I thought it was a good meal! Debbie thinks we might have found a house back in Lincoln, NE. That makes my day a heck of a lot better. I am so happy to be back to the land of cool thrift stores and fast food joints. I am a huge fan of The Goodwill. We are all going crazy up in Oregon. I am still mad that Don is not here. I often think what would our lives be like if Donald were still here. I guess I should stop thinking like that because Donald is gone. It is sad. I am  listening to Kate Bush and David Gilmour version of Comfortably Numb. Its pretty good but not as good as the version with Roger Waters and David Gilmour singing together. I am so ready for the Duggars to be on in less then an hour and Sister Wives at ten. Heck I just might as well sit through Sarah Palins show. I have nothing better to do. Sarah Palin is Sarah Palin what can I say she seems nice but not very smart and some of the thing she has spoken on that show I really disagreed with.  Well I could read or read. Hmmm. Boredom has made its come back in my life but not for long because tomorrow its back to working on moving and more drama. Tears, yelling and junk. Thats whats tomorrow will be like for all five of us. I am ready to walk all the way to heaven to pick Don back up but that will never happen soon. Christmas this year is going to suck. I mean I hear Christmas music and I want to puke. I think the holiday has become less about Jesus Christ and family time and more about greed. That is what I have a problem about the holidays. Its about Jesus's birthday the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. The man who died so we could be free. Its not about toys or gift card or IPODs or lights or big dinners its about the birth of a man who gave his life up so we could be free. That should be our main focus for Christmas. OK I am done.
God Bless
Libby

Another Day...

Today is going to suck I can tell that already. Debbie is in a shitty mood and so are the boys. Danny Debbie's brother seems to be more cheerful then his sister Debbie at times but then again Debbie has just lost her husband. I woke up around nine something and then started to get ready for the day and then watched TV with Danny and we watched Green Mile. I also watched a show on Amish marriage and weddings. It was a pretty neat show. I can't wait to watch the hour long special of The Duggar's Nineteen kids and counting. I think the kids are making a movie or something. I think that is pretty neat. Well I have been sitting in my room listening to Neil Young, Johnny Cash, and The Beatles. I am an odd ball. I am just so ready for the move to be over. I am so ready to scream. I still miss Don like crazy. I just hope today is not so bad. I feel pretty grim today. Its a rainy cold day and the house it cold. Everything in this house is cold. The water, the air and most everyone in this house. Its almost Thanksgiving and Christmas but it doesn't feel like it at all. It feels like hell. I wonder why Don had to pass on around the holidays. I just wonder why he had to pass away at all. I wanted him to be around longer. I am getting use to the fact that he is dead and I don't like that. He becomes part of the past in the day but when I sleep I can still see his smile and hear his voice. I just wonder what he is thinking of me now and if he is proud of me. I wonder if he knows we miss him so very much and I want to talk to him again. I hate that he is not going to come ever again. This has been the longest and coldest month. It has been this way after Don died. We have had a bit of sun but more rain and gloom. I want Don back.

bye

Libby

A Hard Days Work

 Dear readers,

     I had a pretty tough day today. I woke up to late and had to clean the whole kitchen up and while I was doing the dishes I smelt this nasty smelling of rotten eggs. I then found out while I was doing the dishes that the sink was leaking so we had to get out a bunch of towls and mop up the stupid water mess. I hate the plumbing in this house. Its pretty sad. Someday we have rusty water and the kitchen sink leaks. We don't have bath towels half the time because of the stupid sink. I am in a pretty rotten mood today. Everyone in the house had to help with the moving jobs like looking through our stuff to see if we wanted to toss it or keep it or give it away. I kept a few good books and three great shirts. Other then that the whole task was a mess. Everyone was crabby and fighting. We had moments of looking at pictures of Don and Debbie's family that were special but other then that it was not fun. Then we had a break. Danny and I had to fetch dinner and we ended up going to Subway and Dairy Queen to fetch a good meal. When I get back to Nebraska I am going to cook meals and learning to sew. I have two pairs of pants I am going to make a skirt or skirts out off. I am also going to get my GED. I want to take classes on child care and parenting classes to learn to be a mom. I want to take classes for being able to take care of pets. I am looking for a husband so I can start a family. I want a big family. I love big families but you already know that. I think Michelle is lucky to have that much kids. I would feel blessed with one little gift from God. I am going to start going to church and trying to read a book in a week. I am going to try to get my life back in order and I have found trust in the Lord. I am going to make to Jesus a big part of my life.

Love

Libby

Happy times

I thought I would take this time to talk about my brother Thayer. He lives in Nebraska still with Dad and is a good younger brother with a heart of gold. He is also very smart and funny. He just turned Twenty yesterday and is looking for college. Happy birthday baby brother! Are family is growing up too fast! I am twenty three, my brother Thayer is Twenty and my little Sister Grace is seventeen. Right now I wish I had more sibling like The Duggar family. My parents most feel old. I just wanted to take time to talk about my wonderful brother. I still remember playing house with him when we were little. Time goes by!

The Duggars and my life

I am just wondering why a lot of people hates the Duggars so very much. It seems like they are a very nice family with good family values and morals. It also seems like the kids are well behaved and very funny. I guess it has to do with the fact that many people are at battle with they're faith and The Duggar's seem to be very close to Jesus so they attack them The Duggars first which is not new this has been going on since Christianity first started. It can be rude hearing people say things like "a vagina is not clown car" and other things that you would not tell a woman to her face. It would be very rude and thoughtless. I admire The Duggars for promoting the fact that families with morals and values still are around. So what if they adult kids help they're parents out? Its not like they are forcing them to help they just have a strong family. So what if the girls have long hair with perms. I am growing my hair a lot long and might get a perm as well in fact when I had long hair I was going to get a perm. So what if they wear skirts and not pants. Skirts are for girls and pants are for men. I admire The Duggar family. I like The Buddy System once I heard about it.


I am about ready to get after a few people for not helping with the clean up job in this house. I am going to go cleaning the kitchen, feed the cats, take the trash out and stuff. I enjoyed house work I just feel very alone in doing it. I just have to remember the JOY system and try to help Debbie out with moving and making it through another day. I am just happy to be alive. Even if I am eating pricey fast food. I just can't wait until we move and get settled down.
God Bless
Love
Libby

My Crazy Circus Life

Its another day of trying to move back to Nebraska. I have been working on some pretty small and useless tasks like cleaning up my make up bag and stuff in my room. I found my self throwing out old nasty make up, pens and paper. I found a bunch of stuff I thought was lost forever. I also tried to clean up the bathroom and have been trying to keep to the kitchen clean. The thing about cleaning the kitchen is no matter how hard you have tried to clean the kitchen late at night someone will come into the kitchen and leave a huge mess and the mess is left for you to clean. It really ticks me off. Oh well such is life! I am getting super stressed out about the move and the mess in the house. I have turned into a basket case. I am trying to stay cheerful but it is very hard. I wish Don were here I really do. Anyway I made sure to clean my room this morning and crap. I know you don't care what I am wearing but I am wearing a cute brown skirt with a plumb purple shirt. The whole outfit I am wearing is under fifteen dollars. I love Wal-Mart and the Goodwill. Well anyway I finally wrote my angry pen pal a long letter after a long time of not writing her back. That is one thing that will change in my life when we get back to Nebraska not putting everything off until the last minute. I am going to be a whole different person when I get back to Lincoln. I feel great changes for myself when I get home to Nebraska.

I have been busy listening to music and I admit to be listening to a lot Country music and Christian Music. The two types of music I swore of when I was in the seventh grade. I am still listening to a lot of classic rock and rock music and even pop music I just like Christian music because it is so uplifting. Is it just me or is Pink Floyd music a little depressing. No wonder why they call Roger Waters the gloomiest man in music. He is very smart and a great song writer. Anyway I can't wait to watch The Duggar's one hour special on TLC on Sunday. Its only two days away. Its still shocking to see all nineteen kids become adults. I rarely hear about John-David anymore. I think Jessa, Jill and John David are pretty busy working as EMT's and being young adults now a days. I think its cool the family seems to stay together even after the kids turn eighteen. I wish I had a family like that. Its true a family that prays together stays together. My Dad was always trying to take the family to church. I support The Duggar family. I pray someday God will find me a man who will love and respect me for me. I have been used before and its hard to get over the fact the person you choose to spend your life with was not the person you thought he was. I still feel hurt and tricked about the whole issue. I just hope God will find a man who will love, respect me. I want to have as much kids as the Lord will bless me with.

God Bless

Libby